


Picasso Puzzler

by Sephypsycologist



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-14
Updated: 2018-12-14
Packaged: 2019-09-18 07:37:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,141
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16990782
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sephypsycologist/pseuds/Sephypsycologist
Summary: A borrower has been stealing famous art! Museum guards Sans and Red are on the case!





	Picasso Puzzler

Sans sighed. Another newspaper article about the Tiniest Art Thief and their latest heist. Yeah, it always ended up with some other thief or counterfeiter getting caught, but it made all the museum owners super paranoid and hard on their staff.

Like him, for example, and his pal Red. They were both guards for the same museum (night shift so as not to frighten the patrons when the ‘anatomy exhibit’ starts moving) and lived in an apartment nearby with their shared s/o, the cutest, most timid borrower known to monster kind.

It was a nice life, but knowing there was a miniature thief out there was not reassuring. It made things harder for everybody in a museum.

Red and Sans were just passing in the hall in front of the gem display when the alarm went off for a mere blip. It was enough, though.

Both of them teleported right to the center of the display, and found a tiny, black clad Borrower woman holding a star sapphire as big as her torso. “Oh, hey, handsome boys,” she chuckled.

“Hands off the goods, babe, and we’ll go easy on ya,” Red growled, a barrage of bones ready to fire.

“Really? But what if I like it rough? Or is that your job, small, blue and gorgeous?” She was looking at Sans now, who blushed but frowned.

“listen, we don’t wanna hurt you, just put it down. we’ll make sure the police know you cooperated,” Sans murmured, trying to hold Red back.

The thief sighed, “Aww, well, can’t have that. I’d never get to see your cute little faces again,” Strapping the sapphire to her back, she hops off and runs into the galleries with both skeletons hot on her tail.

She darted away from each attack they threw, knowing just where to stand to avoid their carefully aimed bones and giggling as she went. “Have to do better than that, cuties!”

This infuriated Red, making him chase even faster. However, Sans had a plan, keeping his head as he darted off in another direction. Skipping along and dodging bones, the thief zipped into the Egyptian room, and squeaked as she was closed in a (model) canopic jar. Sans held up his prize as Red scrambled in, “now, let’s talk about this.”

“Okay okay, you got me!” She called from inside the jar, chuckling. “You did really well, both of you. But…can I ask you something?”

 

Sans and Red looked at each other for a minute, then Red nodded and Sans responded, “okay. what’s up?”

“Have you heard about me?” Her voice was calm and comfortable, “What I do?”

 

“of course we’ve heard of ya,” Red responds, “ya take all these things but ya just give’em back to the people they were taken from ta begin with. And you give the police the evidence ta clap the original thieves in irons for a good long time.”

 

“yeah, and the whole ‘reward money to the poor’ bit is kinda nice, too,” Sans adds thoughtfully. “where are you going with this?”

“Let me prove I’m doing this for something other than personal gain.” She sounded passionate, and both the skeletons felt their souls pulse in response, “I’ll show you who I really am as soon as I can return this to the family it was stolen from. It’s someone’s grave; it’s a monster relic.”

They froze. That gem….was a monster grave? The tradition of spreading dust over someone’s favorite thing was well known, but to have someone steal your loved one’s tombstone was horrific.

“okay. but you have to keep your word,” Sans carefully opened the jar.

“I swear on my soul, boys, I’ll show you my face once this is done,” The masked borrower leaped up, kissing Sans’ cheek before darting over to do the same to Red. “So be good for me~”

And then she vanished with the gem in hand.

—-

The shift ended, the police were notified of a theft, and Red and Sans headed home as the morning news blared on their television, “Overnight, a ring of jewel thieves was arrested after evidence pointed to their involvement in the theft of the famous Ebbot Star Sapphire. A tearful and grateful monster family has their loved one’s grave back in their hands this morning, once again thanks to that rascally Robin Hood, the Masked Borrower.”

“dang, she was telling the truth,” Red muttered, staring at the screen.

“Of course I was.”

Both skeletons jumped to see the thief from the previous night standing in their living room. She sighed and seemed sad, “Now, to keep my end of the deal.”

As soon as the mask came off, and her hair cascaded out, it was clear who she was. Their S/O, the tiny, shy, fearful borrower that had them both enthralled was the famous thief.

“h-how…what…” Sans couldn’t form a sentence. This didn’t make sense.

“Long ago, in a small jewelry store, there was a borrower family,” she began, a sad smile crossing her face, “A mother, a father, a little boy, and the new baby girl. One night, robbers broke into the store. To get at the most precious jewels, they used dynamite to blow up the safe.” Tears glittered as she looked between her beloved skeletons, “The whole family was killed in the blast, except for the baby girl, who miraculously survived by sheer chance. I grew up an orphan because of heartless greedy thieves. I had to make sure they got what they deserved and people…p-people wouldn’t have to suffer forever like I do, knowing something o-or someone they loved was stolen from them.”

She flinched when Red moved toward her, “I-I know!” Her voice broke and she had to breathe for a moment. “I know wh-what I do makes your job ha-arder but I won’t stop. I can’t. But I’m sorry for lyi-ing to you and I’ll leave-ve-ve you alone. I’m sorry.”

Before she could even move, both Sans and Red had teleported across the room and scooped her up into their hands. Sans kissed her first, then Red repeated the action as his counterpart explained, “you could have told us sooner.”

“knowin’ that? hell, babe, i’d snatch shit too,” Red huffed, though his voice was soft and low. “you’re doin’ a good thing, dollface. no need ta be sorry.”

“But I…your boss has been so hard on you both and-”

“and nothing,” Sans murmured, rubbing his fingers across her back gently, “we can handle an angry boss. but we don’t want you to leave.”

“he’s right,” Red added, wiping her tears gently with one hand, “that’s the one thing that’d break these ol’ bones. your secret’s safe with us, and so are you.”

The Borrower sniffled, but smiled brightly and nuzzled both of them, feeling more loved than ever before.


End file.
